i'm on my break at work and i'm totally looking forward to tomorrow being a day off. there arent many sites i can visit on the computers at school cause most are blocked. hence why i'm updating livejournal.

layne's gonna be 2 on nov 28. melissa and i are getting everything ready for her party. now let's hope the weather is cooperative.

i've adjusted pretty well to living on my own. i'm still hunting for a good little part time to help make ends meet more. especially once summer comes and i'm out of a day job.

i havent been playing music lately (except for some drums for special guests, but i dont know if i'll stick with that) but i have been working on new songs. once they're ready i'm gonna try and assemble a new band and get to recording.

my book has hit a wall. but not one that i can't climb over. i just need to figure out where it's gonna go once i get past this hurdle. and then again, time has been scarce for me lately so it's been difficult to sit down and devote myself to writing.

the sarah fiasco is drawing to a close. warrants have been placed for her and her sister's arrest. i cant wait for closure and justice to be brought to this matter. she's dumber than i thought if she thinks that i'm gonna let her fuck with my family and get away with it. especially after everything i've done for her and hers.

i got wrestlemania 26 tickets. so i'm excited about that. i hope i can make it and make up for having missed summerslam this year due to my back problems.

anyway, my break is over. so... huggamwah, aboobooboo.

i couldnt get to my computer yesterday... but don't think that i forgot!

HUGGABOOS!

since my last entry... and prior to that probably another long time too. i figured i should get in here again before 09 closes. i think the only reason i come to livejournal is to read what the riss is up to. ha.

so what have i been up to? well, there's the baby. best baby ever, by gum. watching her grow is something else. she's almost 14 months. it's staggering. right now she is soaking the world up with her amazing brain. i trip out when the reality of her being mine hits me from time to time.

then there's always work. still with the kids and still up to my old tricks. i'm working on being better though.

la smokewagon is still chuggin along having a good time and doing it's thing.

tater tot is the newest addition to my life. she's been staying with us over the weekends and we're kinda responsible for her now. it's been a long road with her and i'm curious to see where it goes.

keeping my brain busy lately by trying to write a book. i dont really wanna call it a book. a story. one i've had in my head for many years and it's finally spilling out onto paper. hopefully i can commit to it's end.

i'm also trying to write new music but i'm pretty blocked up in that area. i'm not gonna force it though. i'm perfectly happy playing covers.

other than all of that...


obama.

good luck... don't fuck up.

i love shaved ice...

another year... another simpsons monopoly game i owe you. hugga mwah.

that there's nothing to report.

my room is probably the only room in the house that ever actually stays clean. i make sure i keep it vaccuumed and straightened. every now and again i let it slide for about a day or two without maintenance, but usually, it receives some attention. when i was younger, that wasnt so much the case. my room would get pretty messy. it was one of those messes that would remain so, because i wouldnt even know where to begin cleaning. so i just wouldn't even begin. i would just accept and eventually understand the mess. learning how to be of the mess myself. knowing where everything was even if said item was buried under clothes and papers and shoes and cd's. the only way i got out of that was by moving. and with the move, deciding to finally throw stuff away. a lot of stuff.

now my room is always clean.

but now it feels like my life has become the messy room. so messy that i dont know how to begin cleaning it. to the point where i'm just part of the mess now. now my mess is spilling out of my room and into the lives of others. people who dont deserve to be cluttered in the debris of my carelessness.

i feel bad. and then i dont feel anything. it's like i know i need to change things. but i dont know what or how.

i'm 30.

my baby is sick... i've been chewed out by her mom for it being my fault.

baby momma drama.

and i'm hungover.

the latest wu is a masterpiece.

my baby is the best baby ever.

i am a dad.

god eff this heat! 

where's my daughter already?

this october marks ten years since my friends and i met at the trunk of my broken down car in the parking lot of some bank in lakewood to declare our union as a label named counterfeit. this october will try to commerate that moment that has held much significance to some if not all of us by holding a show featuring stuff and people that have come and gone since then. 

stupid rock of love... get rid of lacey! i mean... i hate these shows.

hope you're doing something special for yourself. despite the move.

i feel like a drink(s).

like i should say something like "i have a lot to 'drink' about" or something.

i'm wasting time. all the time. but i'm crippling myself. i can't find motivation right now. i'm in a lazy funky slumpy routine of counter productivity. 

smoking all the time and just making long days of it.

i think my band is broken up. although no one's actually said t was. suzanne said she's not feeling it anymore. my suspicions have always been that deirdre was never really "feeling" it. and now it's like we havent played in forever and i think it's cause no one cares to anymore. except me. i always wanna play. i have since high school and i'm probably gonna still when my kid's in high school.

and then there's the kid. it's staring to really hit me. not just the fact that i'm soon to be a dad. but the fear of it all. most of the time i sweep things under the rug. one of my specialties. but  now and again, things surface. and right now it's fear. i'm pretty nervous. i dont know how i'm supposed to do this.  i mean, i play a lot with melanie. and many times i'm real moody and not in the mood to be around anyone. then melanie comes over and i forget how to be moody.  she's so sweet and beautiful. and thats what i look forward to about having my own baby. but damned if i'm not scared! 

i need to form a new band. i can't let life beat me. not this time. 

life : 1,000,000 -  leo : 1 . which one? oh, you'll see.

fill 'er up and leave the bottle.

the chris benoit situation has really been hard to swallow. in my lifetime, i've seen many a celebrity tragedy. most of which have found me apathetic. but this is just hard. i was a big fan of benoit. he was amazing at what he did. wrestling gets a lot of shit from people and gets lumped into a heap of guilty pleasures because its scripted outcomes. but fans understand many things about this business that the world doesnt. that whether it's fake or not is not the point. it's like any other form of entertainment. whether it be sports or whatever, it consists of performers who enjoy what they do and do it for people who enjoy to experience what they do. it's something that requires passion from all parties involved. and it's something that is not easy to do, so when you see some people who make it look easy it's because they've worked hard to do so. benoit made it look seemless. he was by far the best at this business.

what he did this past weekend is unthinkable. and i dont know what to think about it. all i can hope for is that his surviving family, friends and fans find peace. 

summer vacation!!!! yay! 3 months!!!

and whats the point of going to work where there's a computer if you're not gonna slack off and update your lj? also, my home computer is trippin.

there's so much thats happened so far this year and i've been really bad about keeping a journal updated for a long time. all of a sudden i felt like why log everything? who cares? or i'll do it later... and by the time ater comes too much more has happened that i dont even know where to start. i used to really be good of writing in my journal at home and keeping it all scrapbookedy but even that has gone quite neglected.

of course the biggest news in my life is

a) i just had a bday! whoop whoop.

b) i got arrested for shoplifting (not very whoop)

c) i'm having a baby thats due in december with melissa - my amazing friend for the past ten years who's been here for me through so much - turned girlfriend/baby momma. (very whoop)

aww man, the kids want their computer back for some stupid project that counts for 80% of their grades or something. damn kids... so much for me trying to update.